


i think its gonna be a long, long time

by the_embarrasing_garden



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, F/F, I dont know how to tag, I wrote this instead of homework, No Beta We Die Like The Mechs, Panic Attacks, What-If, im sorry, shout out to cat on the discord for the idea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:33:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28646076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_embarrasing_garden/pseuds/the_embarrasing_garden
Summary: the mechanisms are dead. every last one of them. except that nastya has woken up, clutching a piece of metal tightly to her chest.
Relationships: The Aurora/Nastya Rasputina
Comments: 12
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

The Mechanisms are dead. Every last one of them.

Or, they were. Except that Nastya has woken up, wherever she has landed, clutching a piece of metal tightly to her chest. As she comes back to herself, she's hit with a wave of deep sadness that almost doubles her over in tears. Sadness, she realises, that is not her own. Electing to ignore this, she sits up to try and get her bearings, her limbs groaning with the effort. She's in a field, surrounded by tall grass and pastel flowers, certainly not the worst place she could have landed. Examining herself as best she can, she finds herself almost in the same condition as she remembers, clad in her heavy coat and still armed. Her hand, she realises, is bleeding, dripping chrome blood onto the metal in her grasp. She lifts it closer to her, making out the numbers on it, and everything comes rushing back. 

_Wandering the halls of an imposter, without being searched for._

_A man- Jonny- with a bitter tone and eyes struggling to mask his shock._

_The sensation of her blood freezing over._

Then nothing. A long, icy void stretching longer than she can think to comprehend, juxtaposed with the gentle warmth of wherever she is now. There's something else though, reaching throughout her whole body, pulsating and glowing with unconfined joy. 

_You're back!_ it sings. 

Aurora. 

But Aurora was dead, had been for longer than Nastya had been Out. That was so much of the reason she'd left, was it not? And yet, here she was, glowing with delight through their connection. She resolved to try something. 

'Aurora?' she thought, as hard as she could.

_NASTYA!!_

The response set her head spinning, sending joy and love through her veins with such power that she could do nothing but fall back and laugh, tears spilling from her eyes as she lay in the grass, allowing the warmth to flow through her, driving out any cold that may have still remained. Aurora was still there, and she was reassured that in the expanding, frigid universe, there was comfort. 

'Can you find me?' was the next thing she thought to ask. 

_Already have,_ her love responded. _Stay put._

That, she could do. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She could feel the excitement building in her blood as Aurora neared, so much so that when she did arrive, Nastya felt as though she might explode with it. She remedied this by running, at a dead sprint, and did not stop until she was aboard. She collapsed, breathless and euphoric, on the floor of the hangar, feeling the walls around her buzz with the same sensations that ran through her blood. 

The thing that struck her was how quiet it was. The crew was never quiet, not even during the night cycle. She wondered if they knew she was here, and were waiting to surprise her, and decided to go find out. If they were, they were doing an astoundingly good job of it. 

She found the Toy Soldier in the kitchen eventually, standing by the kettle, shut down. She shook it awake, and it just stared at her blankly, expectant. 

"Toy Soldier forty five, password recognition?" She prompted. 

"Earl grey!"

Odd. It was never shut down long enough to reset. 

"Lemon."  
"Breakfast!"  
"Milk."  
"Sugar!"  
"No, thank you."  
"Pass The Tea, Please!"  
"With pleasure."  
"Password Accepted!"

She sighed with relief as it turned to face her, looking her up and down.   
"Nastya!" it exclaimed, before throwing its arms around her with force that sent her stumbling backward. She reciprocated as best she can, though her arms were preoccupied with steading herself.  
"You Are Back!" it hugged her tighter. She nodded, letting the content of the words seep through her for a moment.   
"Yes," she drew away to look around, still searching for the rest of her friends. "TS, where is everyone?"

Its face fell, looking her over again.  
"They Are Gone."  
"Gone? Where, planetside?"  
It shook its head, expression melancholy. 

"No. They Are Dead." 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- tw for panic attack/spiralling  
> \- discussion of death

Nastya stumbles back until she connects with the wall, sinking to the floor. Her head swims as she instinctively tucks her knees into her chest. 

_Mechanisms can't die._ If anything, she's proof of that. But TS has no reason to lie, and shes never seen it so miserable. Aurora hums sympathetically to her, messages of apology and understanding that lace through her spiralling thoughts. She's alone. No, TS and Aurora are here. But everyone else is gone, they're gone, they're fucking _gone._ Raph, Ivy, Marius, Brian, Tim, Ashes, Jonny. She's never going to see them again. She has eternity in front of her, and she's lost her family. What did she last say to them? She can't remember, save for a curt exchange with Jonny, he'd shot her, insulted her and she'd watched the dread and pain rise behind his eyes. They couldn't be dead. She's alone, and she shouldn't even be alive, shouldn't have survived her own choices either, why is she alive, why aren't they and _how did they die,_ and how could she possibly have left them and is it her fault and- And what? Does it matter? She's spent so much time alone, why should it matter that they're gone? She's the one who left them, after all, and told them she wasn't coming back. But of course it matters. Of course it does, how could it not? They were her friends, her family, the only one she felt she'd actually had at that. How could she even consider the thought their deaths didn't matter? Her moral core had been burned out of her decades ago but.. had she really changed that much? Maybe it was good they were dead, if she was to be so cold. Maybe she never would have fit in with them again, if she were to rejoin them. Maybe this is for the best. But it isn't, is it? Everything is cold. 

The thoughts spiral, lashing against the sides of her skull, blurring her vision with tears she hadn't even noticed. She isn't sure how long she sits there, letting her mind rage, rocking lightly back and forth. 

What now? 

_I'm sorry._ Aurora says to her, tentative and soft. She doesn't know how to respond, just draws in a deep, shuddering breath, and nods. The Toy Soldier is still standing over her, its expression melancholy and concerned. 

"I want to know what happened." She says decisively, pushing herself up into standing, her limbs groaning and aching with the effort. "TS, put on some tea, please."

It gives her a sharp salute, and potters off to do so. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sitting at the table, sipping tea, The Toy Soldier and Aurora recount to her the tales of her companions' deaths, by request. 

Some of them almost feel right, Tim and Ashes getting their last hurrahs in, Brian completing his life cycle (he'd always been a little poetic) and Marius being so very in character that it almost makes her laugh. 

Jonny and Ivy, though. Something about their ends runs icy chills through her. Ivy's death felt unfair, she had been trying to live in peace, and she hadn't deserved to die. Jonny's death was so _very_ Jonny, but she couldn't shake the feeling that it didn't matter, could have happened to anyone, anywhere, had no impact on anything. It felt arbitrary, and left a choking hole in her heart. 

"And Raph?" she asks. There's a moment of hesitation. 

_Raphaella is.. a bit of an enigma.  
_

Nastya's brow furrows. "How so?"

"She Might Not Be Dead!" 

_She threw herself into a black hole, out of boredom-_

"And We Don't Know What Happens When You Do That." TS finishes. 

Pause. 

"Right. Is there a way we can find out? If she's alive.." Nastya trails off at the thought. Would she even want to see her? She would cross that bridge if she came to it, she decided. If Raph was alive, Nastya wanted to know. 

_Possibly. I can't track her like I can you, but I know where she was. We could go and see, I suppose, though it would be dangerous for all of us._

She considers this, wishing she had a way to know the odds. Getting anywhere close to a black hole was a fool's errand, but if it meant seeing Raph... 

"Lets do it." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got distracted by the tma wiki songs while trying to write this lmao save me 
> 
> anyway yeah,, please feel free to leave feedback! i struggled with this chapter a bit cuz it felt too generic, but i think i got there :) stay tuned! n thank u for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As it turns out, it is very difficult to navigate around a black hole.
> 
> the crew are on their search, what will they find?

As it turns out, it is very difficult to navigate around a black hole. Finding it was not really an issue, however, now the diminished crew of the Aurora were faced with the challenge of finding where it leads without.. whatever going through a black hole does to you. Currently, they were spending their time skirting around the threshold, as close as they could without threat of danger. Each time Aurora detected anything, Nastya would sprint to the bridge, practically throwing herself into the co-pilot's chair and frantically scanning the screens laid out in front of her. So far, her excitement had been met with nothing but charters from nearby systems, escape pods of those unfortunate enough to escape whatever fate had been expecting them, long lost travellers and stray space debris. On one such occasion, TS and Aurora had sparked with delight, jabbering on about a cop, a train and Marius, none of which made any sense to Nastya. Aurora had frantically tried to get the pilot's attention, but all communications had been denied. 

This pattern continued on, Nastya's enthusiasm turning to irritation and eventually reluctance, as she hesitated to go meet yet another disappointment. During these in between spaces, she spent time having tea with TS, in the engine room idly chatting with Aurora or simply walking around, often humming to herself to fill the eerie silence as she took turns that lead her away from any rooms she knew too well. She was doing none of these things at present, finding herself instead examining her violin in a room she was hardly familiar with. She was not sure what to do with it, as it had fallen into quite a state after so long untouched. She had found it tucked away in a space in the vents, not allowing herself to dwell on exactly how it got there. Even if it had been in good condition, she was not sure if she could bring herself to play it, if she would even remember how, and what would happen if she could not- Before she could spiral any longer, the scanners went off. 

She trudged down the hallway, taking her time as often the sensors would shut off before she even reached the bridge, and she could return to what she was doing. As she reached the bridge, the scanners continued to try and alert her, and she allowed herself the slightest bit of hope. Aurora quickly informed her that the ship in their radius was a one-person ship intent for deep space travel. 

_The kind of ship you would find in a black hole,_ she surmised. 

Nastya sent out a message to it, her hands moving frantically across the glowing keys of the pilot's table. 

_This is the Starship Aurora, requesting communication with your vessel._

They waited. 

Nothing. 

Nastya gave a deep sigh, her heart sinking. "Let me know if you get anything, please." She told Aurora, though she had already abandoned the thought. Standing to leave, she almost walked into the Toy Soldier, who had apparently decided to join her on the bridge.   
"False alarm, TS."   
It seemed to ignore her, captivated with something out the window. 

"What's That?" it asked, pointing. She tried to see where it was pointing, but nothing stood out against the inky expanse, save for distant twinkling stars. "There is nothing there."   
It shook its head, pointing again, warranting a series of clicks and whirs as Aurora analysed the air around them. 

_It's a gas, used for heavy anaesthesia.. rarely used due to the danger of its manufacturing process.  
_Nastya felt her heart skip a beat, returning hurriedly to the control panel. 

_This is Nastya Rasputina, requesting communication._

Still no response came. 

"We Could Go Out There And See?" TS suggested, its words lacing a new level of tension through the air.   
_No._ The response was sharply defensive, tinged with fear.   
"I do not think I could." Nastya admitted, sighing deeply, the bridge falling into an uncomfortable silence. 

"I Could Go!" The Toy Soldier exclaimed, clapping its hands with delight at the sudden revelation. "I Will Not Be Affected By The Gas, And, If You Instruct Me I Am Sure To Get It Right!" 

\------------------------------------------------------------------

The Toy Soldier maneuvered itself onto the stern of the small ship, pulled hard onto the decking as it landed. Before it could haul itself to its feet, a light whirring came from behind it, followed by the thud of feet on the metal, and, a voice. 

  
"Hands behind your head, nutcracker." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D im actually very happy with how this chapter turned out! i think my writing style has changed very abruptly, but im liking how it's sounding a lot more. unless i speedwrite the next chapter, there likely wont be one for a couple weeks because im going away. stay tuned, and thank u ever so much for reading!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For all the space between the stars, for all the chill of the expanse, there was the sheer comfort of a long awaited hug.

The Toy Soldier laced its fingers over the back of its head. 

"Stand up." The voice commanded. 

TS followed, without the option to do otherwise, struggling against the increased gravity of the ship. 

"Turn around." 

Once again, it obeyed. 

Raphaella La Cognizi's face was lit up with a glowing smile, her wings fluttering behind her in her delight, keeping her hovering a few centimeters off the ground. For someone assumed dead, she looked quite well and rather unchanged. 

"Come give me a hug?" 

It flung its arms around her without hesitation, pulling her down so as her feet rested on the ground, her wings enveloping them both and shielding them from the frigid air around them, the humming engine of the ship beneath them matching the sensations that ran through Raph’s blood and skin, warming in the familiarity of being held, even by wooden limbs.Her ecstatic laughter bubbled through their embrace, neither releasing the other fully as they blustered through the hatch door, into the safety of the small vessel. 

Once sealed within the steady warmth of the ship, Raph gave a deep, contented sigh and fluttered her wings, adjusting them to the change. The Toy Soldier was smiling, quite pleased with itself and recent developments. 

"Tea?" It offered, warranting a noise of affirmation as Raphaella checked over the control board, which was pinging loudly, and had been for quite some time. 

"Communication request?" She pondered aloud, scanning over the messages. "Who's...-?" 

She trailed off, her heart rising in her chest as she registered the words in front of her. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nastya had been waiting at the control panel for quite some time now, expecting communication from either TS or the mystery ship she had sent it out to. Neither had been received, and dread was taking up it's familiar residence in her stomach. It had been foolish, sending it out. She should have sucked it up and gone, not risked the danger of whatever or whomever may own the deep space cruiser. Had something happened?

_Stop it._ Aurora cut through her thoughts.  _Everything is going fine, love. You needn't worry, I am sure The Toy Soldier is safe._

She nodded, sinking lower into the co-pilot's chair, trying to will herself to believe Aurora. It had faced more it was often given credit for, she reminded herself. 

Aurora began to hum, a soft, lilting tune that flowed with gentle reassurances. A song of sunlight through dappled leaves, summer rains and babbling streams. The notes sung with reminders of kindness, of trust and of truth. It was an old lullaby, the words of a language long since contorted and lost to time, but the message playing steadily on, it's melody promising safety and content. Nastya smiled despite her anxieties, her eyelids dropping closed as she allowed the music to envelop and soothe her, the music singing through her veins. It brought with it deep, resonating connection, and an overwhelming sense of home that she allowed to engulf her, letting love wash over her with the steady beat of her heart. The tune continued to flow until it was very rudely interrupted. 

She sat up with a start, eyes snapping open. The disruption came again, a communication alert. She leapt to her feet, scrambling to read the message. 

This is Spacecraft 293: Orion, receiving communication from Starship Aurora.

Her veins filled with surging hope, making her head spin as her fingers flew across the keypad. 

_Contact confirmed by Nastya Rasputina._

A pause, dragging its nanoseconds out over centuries. 

_Reciprocated by Raphaella La Cognizi._

Nastya let out a whoop of delight, pumping her fists into the air and spinning in elated circles, her coat billowing around her as the ship around her lit up with brightening lights and excited whirrs. She returned to the control panel, dismissing the warping of her vision and the rush of mercury pounding in her head. She was not alone, her brilliant, slightly manic scientist companion was alive, and Nastya was not sure she could ask for anything more. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Raph flicked the last switch above her head, engaging the craft to be picked up. Her hands were trembling with the anticipation, a current running through her whole body as the small vessel was brought inside, she felt as though she might explode with all the energy, the sheer power of adrenaline coursing through her. She had  survived,  and it had paid off. The Toy Soldier beside her was about the same, practically buzzing as Aurora took the small ship into her hangar. It landed smoothly on the metal floor with as gentle a thud as possible, and the pair stepped out into their home. Raphaella hardly had a moment to process this before she caught Nastya in her arms, folding her wings around her almost instinctively. The sensation was an explosion of pure light, the feeling of skin tingling at connection, at contact, at being held. For all the space between the stars, for all the chill of the expanse, there was the sheer comfort of a long awaited hug. 

_ Welcome back.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so! i rewrote this bc i wasn’t happy with it and i think it’s a bit better now? apparently i struggle with Good Emotions. but thank u ever so much for reading, once again! stay tuned!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The best way to go about resolving lost time is to make up for it as best you can, and Nastya, Raphaella, Aurora and The Toy Soldier had lost a great deal of it.
> 
> the gang are vibin!!!

The best way to go about resolving lost time is to make up for it as best you can, and Nastya, Raphaella, Aurora and The Toy Soldier had lost a great deal of it. As such, the over first months of Raphaella being back aboard, none of them spent much time alone. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Nastya!" the scientist's voice rang through Common as she skidded through the doorway, her wings a flurry of movement keeping her lifted slightly off the ground. "Look what I found!" She held out a rectangular box to the engineer, who was curled up under a blanket on the couch, making notes in a moleskine journal.   
"Hair dye?"   
Raph nodded enthusiastically, scanning the slightly battered box.   
"I found it shoved in some cupboard. Do you think it would look good? Just dye the ends red? For a change-" She circled the room as she spoke, running her hands back through her hair, grinning with contagious excitement. 

"Sure, it would suit you. I would think you'd be trying something a bit more.." Nastya gestured vaguely, searching for the word.   
"Mad sciency?" Raph offered, earning a nod of agreement. "No, I want to do it the normal way, I think. Make sure it goes to plan."   
The engineer gave her a calculating look.   
"That's unlike you."  
"Mmm," she shrugged the statement off. "Point is, will you help me with it?"

A chair was dragged into one of the bathrooms, necessary tools acquired and Raphaella sat in front of the mirror with Nastya standing behind her. She took a brush, running it through Raph's hair until the last stubborn knot came loose, softening her hair slightly, working against the considerable amount of disregarded care it had faced. Combing her hands through, Nastya seperated and tied back most of her hair, leaving a small portion resting against Raph's shoulders to begin with. 

"Let's do this?" She asked, which was met with enthusiastic agreement. 

Squeezing a dollop of dye into her gloved hand, Nastya applied it carefully to the ends of Raph's hair, running her fingers gently through it. Raphaella closed her eyes, appreciating the sensation. She worked in relative silence, sectioning out and dyeing pieces of hair until all the ends were covered and tinted red. 

"There, now you need to let it sit." Though the words weren't loud or harsh, they cut through the settled peace. Raphaella opened her eyes, taking in her reflection as a delighted smile formed on her face.   
"Ohh, it's going to look brilliant! Thank you, Nastya." Her voice swelled with the lightheartedness of it, the simplicity of her joy and her gratitude. That easy delight they had both once thought lost to them, now free flowing and contagious. Nastya returned her smile.   
"Anytime." 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A sharp knock came at the door of the lab, hardly breaking Raphaella's concentration as she worked. It came again, forcing her to pay it some mind.   
"Come in?"  
The Toy Soldier walked in, holding a small wooden tray. It set it down on a desk, along with two mugs, smiling widely at her.   
"Can I Interest You In Tea?" it queried. Raph set down her tools, striding over to examine the offering. The tray was laid out with dishes containing sugar and honey, aside a small pitcher of milk. A selection of various teas, accompanied by an array of biscuits in varying shapes. It was really rather extravagant, given there was no particular occasion. 

  
"This is a surprise, TS." She gestured for it to take a seat, settling into her own chair.   
"You Had Not Left Here In Two Days," it began to explain, selecting a teabag and delicately pouring water over it into the mug. "And, I Missed Having Tea With Friends."   
At this, she offered it a smile, pouring her own cup.   
"I'm always very glad to have tea with you, TS. It's very enjoyable, you're a good friend. I missed you too."   
It practically lit up, delight etched into its wooden features.   
"Oh, Jolly Good!" 

  
They sat together, sipping, sharing old tales, jokes that neither one quite understood but both found uproariously funny and delighting in the other's company. Raph told it about her new ideas for bioluminescence in the octokittens, her plan to encourage their natural ability for it to increase. TS recited some poetry, for it had read rather a lot of it, and insisted it simply must show her, "Or It Shall Never Leave My Head, Old Chap!" Truth be told, she loved the way its voice brought the words to life, animating the characters in a way that echoed its own liveliness. The air of the lab seemed charged with the energy of it, an essence of friendship brightening the cluttered room, lingering in warmth and the smell of tea and biscuits. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The trio had decided a movie night was in order. As such, they were currently sprawled out in the myriad pillows and blankets they had collected and dumped on the couch. Raphaella, in the middle, wings and arms around the friends who flanked her. The Toy Soldier leaned against her slightly, a wooden hand interlaced with her own. Nastya on her other side, knees tucked up against her body, resting her head against her shoulder. Currently, bickering. 

"I Should Choose Because I Have Chosen The Least Out Of Anyone!" TS made its point passionately, met with huffs of indignance.   
"That's because you have bad taste." Raph countered, stressing the tone just slightly to ensure it was meant jokingly.   
"I should be the one to choose, in that case. We do not need another one of your _aliens wreck everything_ films, Raphaella."   
"They're fascinating! And they're far better than your sappy romance bullshit!" 

A screen dropped from the ceiling, Aurora chipping in her two cents: _I should get a choice. I can take all your likes into account and pick something fitting for all of you._

This, while reasonable, was met with immediate protest from Raph.  
"No, because you'll just pick what Nastya wants. You're biased toward her, objectively."   
Aurora responded with a series of irate whirrs, and another message.   
_I suggest you settle for my option, Raphaella, given I'm actually the one in control of the technology._

This was, indisputably, a fair point. Raph threw her hands up in defeat as the lights dimmed and the crew were met with Aurora's choice. 

The Princess Bride, to which there were no objections. 

As it turned out, it didn't really matter, because the crew all fell asleep on each other in a matter of minutes, taking comfort in the presence of the others. An overwhelming sense of family, of safetly, of _home_ as they lay resting against one another. Aurora smiled fondly at them, dimming the lights and shutting down her screens, so as they would not be disturbed. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For those months, the point in space where Aurora was radiated love, pure, honest and strong. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some good content! tooth rotting fluff :)) im sorry if the formatting of this one is a little weird, i wasn't entirely sure how to go about it, but im pretty happy with it. im also really proud of myself for gettin it over 1000 words, its something im trying to improve on. anyway,, they love each other <3 thank you all for reading!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is something new. Something in the walls, in the room tucked away.   
> The room hums. This is right. The room is meant to hum, meant to be full of light, of creation, of ideas.
> 
> This room has not moved for a long time. 

There is something new. Something in the walls, in the room tucked away.   
The room hums. This is right. The room is meant to hum, meant to be full of light, of creation, of ideas.

This room has not moved for a long time. 

The something is not right.   
There have been others like it.   
Where did they go?   
  
The something is loud.   
And then it is not.   
  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aurora can feel the movement, the creation. It sits within her, as all life and death here have, uncomfortable and melancholy. Taunting. Achingly familiar, familial, too. What should she do? To keep her knowledge hidden would be selfish, and inevitably wreck havoc. She is sure of this. But, Aurora, long before she was herself as she is now, had a family. And her heart, changed as it is, aches for that feeling, that completion, that belonging. She had managed to grasp it once again a few times over the millennia, but it had many a time been cast to the vast expanses of space. She missed that feeling more than anything. So she keeps the secret. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A light mechanical whirring. 

A string of muttered curse words. 

A shriek, from one and then the other.

Hands clapped over mouths, in fear, in ecstasy, in silencing, in accomplishment. 

Gears turning for the first time.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The Toy Soldier knows. It has, on many occasions, found itself in the wrong place at the wrong time, with all the best intentions. Fortunately, it is very easy to quieten. Just a set of words. Quietly, it contemplates if it would speak up, should it be permitted. Perhaps. It has never truly had morals, no heart to break, no fear, nothing to align its choices. It tended to be glad it was considered at all, and secrets, well... those took the most consideration of all. All the same, it weighed up its friendships, the time it had spent with the quiet, often snappy engineer. She would be rather upset, it was sure, but the prospect of new friendships overrode the realisation. So no, it would not have spoken if it had the choice. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Focus, in and out.  
Good.   
Movement, arms raised, dropped.  
Good.   
Speech, words formed, coherent, comprehended.  
Good. 

She had succeeded.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nastya shifts uncomfortably, maneuvering through the cramped hallways that make up Aurora's vent system. Something is being hidden from her. She can feel the pressure of a lie in her chest, and even if she couldn't, she would know of it through the guilty silence of the space around her. She has already resolved not to ask, because if Aurora, and for that matter her family want to keep something from her, then she is determined to know what it is without them. The familiar cloud of distance settles over her as she makes her way through the myriad tunnels. They are cold, a fact that sets her at even more of an edge. It is never cold in the vents, always warm, welcoming, safe, accommodating. Her space, moreso than anywhere else in the universe. It should not be cold. 

She reflects on her presence as she explores, the time she has spent here. With Jonny, curled up under his arm, the two of them holding their breath as they hid. The way his heart ticked, and the way she had come to understand that as his life, in stark contrast to the fear and mingled disgust she had first found within herself. An ache within her own heart, for how deeply she misses him in this moment. He had been her first real friend, her brother, each of them fiercely protective of the other, to the end. _In his case, anyway,_ her brain supplies, though she quickly shoves the thought away, supplementing its implications of cowardice with another memory. 

Freedom, is how it begins. Freedom, tinged with guilt, and all washed away by whiskey. There was another one of them now. Ashes, newly immortal, quick witted and surprisingly social. She and Jonny had responded to their new takes on life contrastingly, but both ultimately with isolation. Ashes wasn't like that at all, more than willing to pour out drinks and share stories, in light of Jonny's new achievement. The now trio had quickly bonded, thriving in their short liberation. Ashes proved themself both a friend and a viable asset, having a penchant for arson, and, more importantly, revenge.

Despite their inflammatory habits, they were levelheaded, and unconcerned when the machines in the Doc's lab once again began to work. 

The memory is so close she can almost hear them now, those clicking switches and whirring gears, operated by expert hands. 

No. 

It hits her all at once, the hurried, screaming apologies around her. The pain, the heart wrenching fear, all rushing back. Comfort, family, terror.   
  


She falls through the ceiling of Dr. Carmilla's old lab, and right into a stranger. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahah okayy!! this chapter was honestly a struggle to write, i dont know how i feel about it. however, it is done, and things sure are happening :) thank u for reading !!! <3

**Author's Note:**

> hello! hi! i really hope you enjoy/are enjoying reading this! shout out to cat on discord for helping me plot this out, and stay tuned!


End file.
